When CooCoora was presented with the Keep tolkien Bilbo Baggins shirt. She sat on her butt with her legs straight out, picked the egg up. Turned it this way and that, all the while cooing softly. She sniffed it, patted it, clearly interested, but confused. Finally she bit it and turned it, spilling the entire contents into the space below her cage. She pushed her nose through the chicken wire floor and tried to lick the egg from the dirty cement below. In the four years we lived together she got one egg each week, but she never got any better at eating them. Idiot. Savant.
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There were not enough toys or the Keep tolkien Bilbo Baggins shirt. There were no other raccoon’s in the suburbs where I lived, and I knew she would never have a mate, kits or any of the things that make for a good raccoon life. Her loneliness was impenetrable. Eventually my life took on a direction that didn’t have room for a dumpster sized cage. Her grumpy insincere indifference had alienated every human but me, so imagine my happiness when, at a party I met someone intrigued with the idea of getting a raccoon. (You may want to stop reading this now, the story doesn’t end well.)