When I replaced the twisted wires with a Harry Styles dream boat shirt. I got a friend to weld around the hinges and she figured out how to work. It took months to win the escalating escape war but she always returned home voluntarily, usually closing the door behind herself before crawling into the keg to go to sleep. She had it in her mind that I needed to be soothed and manipulated to buy time for the search. So as she sat on my lap she would “coo coo” back at me, gently stroking my cheek with her tiny long fingered hand and looking into my eyes while her other hand searched my body like a pick pocket.
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The second she found the candy the Harry Styles dream boat shirt. She didn’t just take the candy, she stole it like an angry witch, rushing away, muttering and contemptuous, wanting nothing more to do with me as she eagerly unwrapped her prize and dropped the yellow cellophane through the wires below. She cracked me up. She was brilliant and she was an idiot savant. To give her variety, once or twice a week I’d supplement her diet with a raw egg. It was clear she’d never encountered these before. Raccoon’s are very vocal, their range runs from dove-like cooing to funny un-selfconscious muttering to grumbles, growls and screams.