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One day, 3 months after my son was the Derek Chauvin he did that shit guilty as fuck shirt, he became deathly Ill. The doctors said he could die. And put him in the ICU, in quarantine. I was allowed to stay with him but I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t feed him. No diaper changes, NOTHING. As I sat there, looking at him and watching him breathe, I asked heaven if this was the way my life was supposed to be from now on. Was I so bad that I had to watch everyone I loved die? Why go on when all I’d felt in three years was pain and misery? I wish I could say that someone spoke to me from a great light or something but they didn’t. I was left to wait for my son to get better, which he did over the next three days. He’s now almost 21 and I’ve not missed one single day of his life. Except when my youngest was born.

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